The Insanity of Seduction and Love
by cherokeecaryl
Summary: Bella was taken and changed by an incubus. She now roams the streets, thirsty and mentally unstable. She's looking. Hearing. Waiting. One day she sees Edward and she immediately points him as her love, her everything, the husband she always wanted.


**Pick A Pic Challenge**

**Title: The Insanity of Seduction and Love**

**Penname: vegetarianvamps**

**Banner: #33**

**Rating/ Disclaimer: NC-17/M**

**Summary: Bella was taken and changed by an incubus. She now roams the streets, thirsty and mentally unstable. She's looking. Hearing. Waiting. One day she sees Edward and she immediately points him as her love, her everything, the husband she always wanted.**

**To see all the stories that are a part of this contest please visit: www .fanfiction-challenges. blogspot. com**

**Thank you to: FashionistaJR for being the beta of this and not running away when I'm having a paranoid moment. Infinitypoet, for being so amazing and telling me to keep writing, again when I was having a paranoid moment. DontcallmeLeeLee, I was stuck at writing the lemon in this story (Right, there's a lemon) and she told me important things I shouldn't forget. And samrosey, who read the lemon and helped me with words that I didn't see but that were needed. THANK YOU. Oh, and thank you FrozenSoldier for throwing a brick at me whenever I tweeted I wouldn't write it.**

**This is my first lemon so please be gentle :)**

**Have fun with crazy Bella!**

* * *

Pain.

Fear.

Confusion.

It's all there was, nothing more.

The flames consumed me and filled me with that: pain, fear and confusion.

It felt like my flesh was slowly burning; as though every molecule of me was on fire.

I knew I was dying in the most painful, unwanted way. Or maybe... maybe I was already dead, maybe I was going to hell.

Why was this happening? What had I done to make this happen?

"Shh, it's going to stop, I promise," a voice whispered. It sounded like an angel. An angel in hell? _What is this? What did I do to deserve this?_

"Poor girl," another voice said. Another angel. "Thank God you found her, Carlisle. Imagine if she had woken up alone. Alice had luck with her visions, but that doesn't happen twice."

"I know," the first angel – Carlisle, I think – replied. "Do you think she'll want to stay?" He asked.

"We have to give her the option," murmured the second angel. After a second, the angel spoke again. "Maybe we should call Jasper."

"No!" Carlisle exclaimed. "It's too dangerous and Jasper doesn't need more danger or violence in his life. I won't let another vampire put another scar in his flesh."

_Vampire? God, please no._

"Jasper will know how to handle her."

"No. Alice and Jasper, as well as Rosalie and Emmett, will stay away from this newborn. You should stay away, Esme."

_Newborn?_

"No, Carlisle. I'm staying wherever you are," the angel, Esme, said. "Do you guess what happened?" she asked.

"The bites are rare, irregular, probably during sexual intercourse. Her body was damaged but there could be two reasons for that: one, it was forced; or two, it was willing but the vampire was too rough and he couldn't control his strength."

Sexual intercourse? Impossible.

Another wave of flames spread through my body and I cried out from the unbearable pain. Cold, hard hands held my face, as if they wanted to soothe me. Didn't they see I was _burning_?

"But…" Carlisle started again.

"You think he seduced her," Esme concluded.

"There were traces of arousal remaining in her body when I found her. It was her arousal; the venom was still eliminating it."

"Using and leaving someone like that, after biting her!"

"A true monster among our kind," Carlisle agreed.

"Maybe I should change her into fresh clothes," Esme said.

"Yes, I'll be waiting outside."

The hands left my face and I felt someone else touching me. It was softer and tender, but still cold and hard. It made no difference with my wasted body. I gasped. It made it worst. Desperation clouded my mind, making it only worse. The pain would never stop. He said it would stop, he promised.

He lied.

I was bad, so bad. I deserved this. The things they said at church were real. The angel, Carlisle, said I had given my body to someone, I had let someone seduce me. I was a sinner. I was paying for my mortal sin in hell. Burning forever.

I thought of it. I got glimpses of a man whispering in my ear. The catch was that I couldn't remember exactly what he was whispering, but it was dirty and delicious at the same time. I remember how my body reacted to him, I remember how much I wanted it.

Flashes of memories went through my mind. I had spread my legs to him, inviting him, begging him.

A scream echoed through the house. Only then I noticed that it was my scream, and that had been happening for hours, accompanied by gasps and pants full of pain. Full of torture.

I lost track of time, I didn't bother to even try to listen to the voices. All I knew was pain.

To my surprise, the fire in the tips of my fingers started to fade, but it became more insistent in my chest, my heart. It was like that with my entire body; in some parts there wasn't any pain left, but it was stronger in my chest. It was the worst of everything. I wanted to scream, but I couldn't. My heartbeat was irregular, moving too fast to be human. Like... like... I was listening to my own heartbeat!

It stopped; my heart and the pain, everything stopped. Was I really dead?

I opened my eyes and I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

I had been blind before the pain. Before my death.

"Isabella," a voice said. I felt fury and fear, those were expressed with a low growl that escaped my lips. I was out of the place I had been lyingand crouching in the closest corner I spotted.

_Watch your back, don't let them out of sight._

A man stood on the other side of the room, a woman was behind him. They looked cautious. They were the most beautiful people I had ever seen. He was blonde, tall and was extremely handsome. He looked like a god and the woman behind him was his goddess. Her long, caramel hair flowed elegantly and it framed her perfect face.

But they were still dangerous to me.

"Isabella, we are not going to hurt you," he tried to reason. I had heard his voice before. "We are here to help you." I bared my teeth to him. "Do you know what you are?" Frustration joined the fury and fear and I shook my head.

"Would you let me explain?" he asked. I hesitated.

"I promise we mean no harm, we just want to help," the woman said. I nodded then.

"My name is Carlisle Cullen. She is my wife, Esme." Carlisle... Esme... I knew those names. "I found you in an alley. You were unconscious so I brought you to my home to take care of you. I'm a doctor. Isabella, you went through a change, a transformation. Do you remember the pain?" I nodded my head once; how could I not remember? "You were bitten and that bite was venomous. That venom was the cause of the transformation, the pain. That venom made you a vampire," he concluded.

"Liar," I hissed. How could I be a vampire? Not human?

"I'm afraid it's true," he said solemnly. "Esme, bring the mirror please." Esme rushed out of the room and brought a huge mirror with her. "Isabella, come closer... look at yourself in the mirror."

I was there the next second. It wasn't possible.

"Speed is one of our traits as vampires," I gave Esme a confused look. "So is beauty, inhuman beauty," she continued and nodded towards the mirror. I looked away from her and to my reflection. But that couldn't be me. A girl with red eyes and pearly white skin looked back at me. She kind of looked like me – my hair, the shape of my face, my unmistakable lips... but she was beautiful. I took a step back and she did the same. I frowned. I raised my hand and the girl did the same, at the same time. I touched my face and the girl copied all of my moves. I stared at the mirror in shock.

"Yes, that is you," Esme said gently. "You're beautiful." I was focused on the red eyes. Could it be possible? Was this the way I was marked because of how bad I was?

"Don't be scared about the eyes," Carlisle said. "That's blood, your own at this moment. As you can guess, we feed on blood. It is reflected in our eyes." My eyes flashed to his.

"Will my eyes be like yours? Yellow?" I asked with a small voice.

"It depends on your diet. My family and myself feed on animal blood, it's not the same as human blood, but we do not wish to kill humans."

Kill humans. Kill animals. Blood. My throat was set on fire. My hand flew to my neck and I whimpered. They said it would stop! But I still felt pain. They _lied._

"It _burns_. You said I wouldn't hurt anymore!"

"That is thirst, Isabella. It never stops. After the initial shock of everything, of your new life, it becomes stronger. Your body is demanding blood; in seconds you will be insane with thirst." I gave Carlisle a glare. He wasn't helping me. "You have options, Isabella. You can become a part of our family and drink animal blood, or you can be a nomad; a vampire who goes for the _traditional_ way."

"Either way, you will have to stay with us in the duration of your first year. You are frenzied... you cannot be in touch with human lives," Esme explained.

"The only rule in our world: Keep the secret, don't allow exposure. If you don't follow that rule you will not be allowed to live." I stared at Carlisle with wide eyes. Rules? I wouldn't be allowed to live? "A coven, the Volturi, they make sure that rule is fulfilled by every vampire in the world. Is that understood?" His voice was stern. I nodded quickly and then I felt the burn intensify.

"Let's take you hunting," Esme whispered and I found myself nodding and walking. It was like my body was in automatic mode. "It's very simple. We'll lead the way, your senses will take over. You won't even have to think about it and we will be close, making sure everything is fine."

They led me deep into the forest. I could hear everything, smell everything, and see everything.

"Run," Esme encouraged.

It felt like flying! I never once felt nausea, I still saw everything clearly, not the blur I expected. I started laughing and jumping as I ran. I was invincible.

The most mouthwatering smell hit me and I ran to the source of it.

"Carlisle!" Esme shouted. I ignored her and pushed myself forward. I just needed to get to where that alluring scent came from. I finally reached it and I jumped to get there faster. Before me a man stood, but I didn't think about anything and just pushed his head aside and sunk my teeth into the place where his scent was the strongest. The man let out a strangled scream and began to claw at me, trying to push me away. It made me angry. I covered his mouth with my hand and pressed hard. I heard a crunching sound but paid it no mind. It was so satisfying, his blood.

I heard steps behind me and tensed. They were going to try and steal my food! _No_! I turned around, to keep an eye on them and keepdrinking. I challenged them to come any closer.

Soon, too soon, the man was drained and I dropped him to my feet. A smile spread across my face. I'd found the most perfect, gratifying thing in this world! I looked at my enemies with a triumphant smile; I'd won. I had taken down a man that was taller and bigger than me. I had power. Most of all, I got my prey. They tried to get it away from me but they couldn't. I was stronger. They were bad, terrible people who wouldn't respect what was mine. Selfish, I didn't like selfish.

Carlisle took tentative steps towards me with his hands raised. "Isabella, I know that what just happened is very confusing." No, it wasn't. I did what they told me and then they tried to take it from me. "It's okay, our kind is designed for that. You still have time, there are some animals around."

"I've had slips," Esme said. She had a look on her face... pity. But... I did what they told me. Why were they treating me like I was bad? _I'm not bad; I promise, I promise. "_Do you hear that herd? Go ahead."

I did, but I didn't like it. I frowned. "Is it the same as him?" I gestured at the man.

"No," Carlisle answered.

"Then why would I want to drink from them if there are more like him? I don't want it."

"Please try it," Carlisle insisted. I took a deep breath, but the scent just wasn't appealing to me. I shook my head at him and stepped back. He wouldn't make me, I wouldn't allow it.

"Carlisle." Esme sighed sadly.

"Very well then. Understand that even though you are staying with us, as we won't allow a massacre," my eyes widened, "you are not a part of our coven given your chosen diet." I stared at him, trying to understand why he sounded so disappointed. "Follow us. We will discuss this matter under a safe roof," he said.

During the following months, I stayed in the house. I rarely left it and whenever I did, I had at least two vampires watching over me. I came to terms with the fact that I was dangerous at the moment, but I still didn't fully understand it. I met others – Jasper, Alice, Emmett and Rosalie. Until this day, I was scared of Jasper and what he could do to me. His scars screamed danger at me. I never got near them, Jasper especially. Carlisle was very protective of them and even if I didn't like Carlisle much, I respected him. But I never spoke to him, only to say thank you when he brought me blood.

I still remember that day when he discussed my 'diet', as he called it, with Esme.

"I will not watch her destroy human lives under my watch," he said calmly. "I work at a hospital and I'm sure I can manage to bring some bags home."

"She needs to feed constantly," Esme reminded him.

"There have been a lot of donations lately. I'll take the common ones. Then as time passes, I'll bring less so she can get used to it."

That was how I lived. He brought alluring blood in bags and I emptied them in seconds.

I had free time and I started to get memories of before my death. I didn't like being called Isabella, I liked Bella. I was a vegetarian. I liked blue, or I thought I liked it, it had been my immediate answer when the small vampire, Alice, asked me. She gave me clothes; a lot of them were blue. I had thanked her and made a fort with the folded clothes.

But it got harder to remember. I knew I could read, but it took me a lot of time to find out what books I liked the most. I'd only gotten two – Wuthering Heights and Romeo and Juliet. But I soon questioned why I liked the first one and turned to Romeo and Juliet. _Love_. Such an amazing thing, love.

I wanted it; I wanted love. I wanted to be a man's wife. Like Juliet was to Romeo. I wondered why the man that made me a vampire didn't want me. I gave myself to him, like a wife should give herself to her husband. Had I not been good enough? Maybe I ruined it for letting him do those things to me before marriage. I was sure he wanted to marry me before, I was sure.

_Bella, it's going to be good. You won't regret it, you will love it._

I closed my eyes. I kept remembering things he said, but I never remembered his face. Only his faint voice, trapping me, luring me. I let him.

I let him.

The Cullens, or 'yellow eyes' like I named them in my mind, let me me go after my first year. They tested me and decided I would not be the apocalypses. I giggled. I wasn't that powerful but that would be fun. I didn't tell them that because they already looked at me funny. It was a secret between... I giggled again. It was so secret that I was the only one who knew.

Alice gave me a bag. It was blue. Pretty. She told me that there were some clothes in there, a pair of shoes, Romeo and Juliet, and phone numbers if I ever needed them. I nodded, said 'thank you' and ran.

It was easy. I hunted mostly men, large men with a lot of blood that would keep me happy for about a week and a half. I had the yellow eyes' words clear. Don't drag attention. The Volturi could catch me and kill me and I didn't want anyone killing me because I liked this. I liked living, it was fun. I died and then I was given a second chance. It was fun. I wouldn't hunt in the city all the time, so I wouldn't bring attention. I went to the highways, roads, abandoned little towns.

I found an abandoned cottage in the middle of the pretty forest in my second week alone and made it my home. It still had some furniture, a sofa, tables, and a bed. Sometimes I found old, ruined houses with decorations still inside. It looked like nobody lived in those places so I took small things. Candles, cushions, bowls. Once I even found books. I emptied my blue bag every time I left to hunt just in case I would find something.

I discovered that my blue bag contained more than I had been told. There were sunglasses, my old wallet with my ID and other things in it and a lot money. A huge pile of $100 bills. Sometimes I checked my victims' wallet before getting rid of the body. Sometimes I took the money, sometimes I didn't. I never kept the wallets, always threw them away. I said my apologies every time. I was polite.

I kept my sunglasses on when I went out. Nobody could see my red eyes and that made me smile. They were so clueless but I knew. I bought sheets for my bed, I didn't sleep but I liked to lay down on my bed. I bought a small stereo, and I got Wagner's bridal march. I listened to it every day. I also got a pretty white dress, and I danced to Wagner with it.

Walking the streets was easier now. Before I had to hold my breath or remind myself that I recently fed or what would happen if I did something bad. Punished. I didn't like punishments. It was for bad people, and it was given by bad people. Perverse and malicious. I wasn't that and I didn't want to meet anyone like that.

I concentrated in the extra things, what I could see now, what I could hear. I passed a couple, to anyone they looked like a normal couple, but I knew. He brought her here to humiliate her. And if she didn't do as he said, he would strike her. The strange part was that she wanted it. The world is full of crazy, bad people. I passed another couple, again they seemed normal, but they weren't supposed to be together. He was married and he was betraying his wife with that vile woman. Then another man, eyeing every woman that crossed him with an evil glint in his eyes.

I shook my head. How could they forget about the meaning of love? How could they throw it away with those violent and traitorous acts? I couldn't stop myself to give those brainless people a menacing glare. They were destroying love and commitment and beauty. As I glared at them, I made sure that their faces would stay in my mind. Maybe I would have the disgrace of running into them some other time. Or maybe that would be _their_disgrace. A faint smile ghosted in my lips and I stopped myself from laughing.

I kept walking, enjoying the wind in my face and the curious looks people gave me when they saw me with sunglasses at night. When I caught them staring, they lowered their heads and pretended they weren't looking. My red eyes were a secret they could never, ever know. But it started to get boring, there weren't many people now and I had nothing to see or hear. I decided it was time to go to my cottage.

I was closer to my home when I heard the most attractive voice I'd ever heard. It was strong and masculine with the smallest hint of softness. My head snapped to know where it came from.

I saw him. Perfection.

I never understood why Juliet felt in love so quickly with Romeo. I got it now, she was captivated by his ravishing looks. I wanted to see his eyes, I wanted to see him smiling.

"Look, Jessica, I'm not interested. I don't know what else to tell you." His tone held irritation.

"It would relieve your stress. It will be fun," the girl said. I supposed she wanted to sound sexy.

"No."

His tone had finality now. The girl stomped away, muttering curses. I took my opportunity to get closer, talk to him. He ran his fingers through his hair, looking absolutely frustrated and that only made him more admirable.

"Hello," I whispered. He dropped his hands and looked at me. He greeted me back with a quick smile. "I'm Bella. What's your name?" He looked exasperated for a moment before his face relaxed.

"Edward. Pleasure to meet you." Edward. Even his name was perfect, it suited him.

My husband. _Mine_. I finally found my husband, my soul, my heart, my everything.

"Edward." I smiled. The sound coming from my lips sent sparks through my body. "Would you do something for me?" Curiosity was clear in his eyes. "Please?" I got closer, leaving only inches between us. He stuttered a quick yes, and looked at me with wonder. _The feeling is mutual, my love. "_Come with me, I'll show you something," I said and took his hands in mine. I wasn't scared of him feeling my cold skin because of the thick, pretty gloves I had. Not that I needed them, they were just pretty. He came willingly with me. I never let go of his hand.

We reached the beginning of the woods and he became hesitant. "Is this safe?" he asked. I nodded and smiled. I wouldn't let anything or anyone hurt him. I led him through the trees. I knew the way by heart now. A dead heart, but a heart. We got to the outside of the cottage and I turned around to see his reaction.

"It's a beautiful place," he said and then his eyebrows furrowed. "Do you live here?" I nodded. And he would live here, too. "What is it that you wanted to show me?" he asked.

I removed my gloves and sunglasses and kept my eyes on the ground. "Something we couldn't have without each other," I said as I put my hand in his hair delicately. I ran my nose along his entrancing neck. I was rewarded with a low moan. I raised my head and let him see my eyes. His beautiful green eyes opened wide with surprise. "I'm going to show you a new life. You may kiss the bride," I said before kissing his alluring lips. Another moan, this time I moaned too.

I couldn't remember if I had been kissed, but it didn't matter because this, now, was the greatest thing my body felt after the satisfaction of blood. I pulled away and smiled. He looked confused and lost for a minute. Then he got scared. "What are you?" he asked. He shook with fear. He shouldn't be scared, I would never hurt him.

"I'm a woman in love. Your wife."

"What?" His voice got higher. "Lady, you're confused. I'm... I'm not married," he said.

"Get into the house… now," I ordered. He took a step backwards and I grabbed his arm. He flinched, so I loosened my hold on his arm. I walked to the house, with him behind. He almost tripped walking. He stepped on a rock. My rocks, the ones I took time lining and putting in their places.

I dropped his arm and placed the rock in its place again.

"I don't think the poor, little rocks like to be stepped on," I mused. Nobody had consideration with them, the pretty little rocks.

"What?" he asked, looking at me like I was crazy.

"The rocks," I repeated louder and then tip**-**toed around the line of rocks. I didn't step on them like the others do. "Be careful with them. Here, take my hand."

"No."

I grabbed his hand anyway and brought him closer, careful with the rocks. "Do not argue with your wife, you should know that," I said.

"What the hell are you?"

I growled and lead him forcefully into our hidden home. I threw him to the floor and walked in circles around him. "You should learn to respect me. Wedding vows. Respect your partner."

I took a deep breath and then his scent hit me. My throat was set on fire, a fire I can only compare to what I barely remember from my death. His blood. It was in the air, his blood was out. My hand covered my nose. I stopped breathing. I still had air in my lungs, air that had his oh so delicious scent, and I used it to speak.

"Are you bleeding?" I rasped out.

"Of course I'm bleeding. Your nails cut the skin and you threw me to the fucking floor," he shouted. "What the fuck are you?"

My fault. It was my fault that he was bleeding. _I'm a monster_.

I stepped back slowly, sobbing and muttering apologies.

_Bad, bad wife. You've hurt your husband, broken your vows. You should hit yourself on the hand._

I ripped the edge of my shirt and slowly walked towards him. He didn't move away. _Be thankful, Bella, thankful._ Carefully, I tied the fabric to his wrist to prevent more blood coming out. Or I thought I would. It made no difference, I could still smell it. Once I finished, I smiled brightly. "There. No more hurt... no more. See?" I held his hand up for him to inspect. He snatched his arm away.

"What are you?" he asked again.

"Your wife." I said, frowning. He knew it.

"For the love of God! I am not married!"

"Yes, you are. Do not deny our love!" I shouted. "You're cheating on me, aren't you? Who is she? Is she that girl you were talking to? Jessica," I growled her name.

"I'm not cheating and I'm _not _married. You're crazy," he said.

I smiled. "For you. I'm crazy for you." I raised my hand to touch his face; his warm, soft face. I stared at my pale fingers against his skin. It was so different. I wondered for a sick moment if I would break the bones of his gorgeous face if I pressed a little harder. I immediately dropped my hand from his face. No, good wives do not think of killing their husbands.

Kill. Blood.

I looked back at him and saw that he was staring intently at me. His heart was racing, his breaths came out as pants. He was _excited_. I smiled proudly. He wanted me, I was a good wife.

"See, you want this too," I told him and pressed my lips to his. "We are meant to be together, I love you." He turned his head away, but his breaths still came out as pants and his hands balled into fists. "You can fight it, but you want me. I know it," I giggled.

His stomach grumbled. I didn't have food in the house. But there was an apple tree near the house. I hoped he liked apples. "Do you like apples?" I asked hopefully.

He seemed to think about it, as if he couldn't trust me, but then nodded.

"Excellent." I was out of the house collecting apples the next second. I went back inside with three. I washed them because I didn't want him to get sick and then handed them to Edward. Smiling, I sat in front of him. Good wives had to keep company to their husbands at dinner.

"Thanks," he said, not looking at me. He avoided my look. He would get used to my eyes, I did.

He ate two apples, leaving the third one aside.

"Are you tired?" I asked, and just as the question left my mouth, he yawned. "You should go to sleep. Come on." I stood up and held my hand to him. He took it, still hesitant, and let me lead him to our room.

He went straight to the bed, removed his shoes and rolled to his side, facing away from me. I sat on edge of the bed, waiting until he fell asleep. I spent most of the night watching my love sleep. He was so handsome.

I walked around the house, hearing the sounds coming from the inside. My husband was still sleeping. Poor him, he was exhausted.

_Should I wake him? Should I not? I'm a good wife, not bad, I know what to do – I do. I just need time, he needs time. What to do?_

Calm, I had to calm down. I had to soothe the fire in my throat. Blood, I needed blood.

I remembered then, the yellow eyes. They said animal blood would be enough. Animal blood would have be sufficient for now because we were in the middle of the forest. Animals lived in the forest. The forest was green like his eyes, my husband's eyes.

How to start? _Close your eyes. Listen. Run. Attack. Drink._

I jumped on a deer, tackling it to the floor. The pathetic little thing was trying to escape from me, how ridiculous. I sunk my teeth into the thin layer of skin and fur of the neck. Warm blood filled my mouth and I swallowed it as fast as I could. It was disgusting, I regretted it right away, but I never wasted, never ever. I drained it quickly. I cringed at the taste it left in my mouth but the texture was still there. Venom eliminated it and soon the foul taste left my mouth.

That was the first and last. I didn't like that kind of blood and I felt bad for the defenseless deer. An idea came to my mind and I allowed myself a second to squeal. I would bury it. I would give the deer a proper goodbye.

I ripped a tree from the forest floor and that left a hole, but it wasn't big enough to put the deer in. Growling low, I put down the tree and walked next to the other tree next to hole. When I ripped that tree off, it left another hole but still not big enough, but I made it bigger, making another hole in the middle with the trunk. I threw it away and ran to the body. I carefully picked it up in my arms and placed it in the nice, big hole.

"Dear Mr. Deer, I'm sorry I killed you. I was thirsty and you were the only one around. And please don't tell my husband about this, I don't know if he likes animals, but I'm not taking the risk. Thank you and rest in peace." I threw dirt on the hole until it was finally covered.

I ran to my home, the one I shared with my husband, and almost destroyed the door when I touched it. I just wanted to see him. But the door didn't have to suffer for it. The door didn't do anything to me. I went into the house… and heard nothing. I didn't smell anything.

He wasn't there.

I growled with fury and left the house. I followed his scent. He didn't stand a chance. He wanted to play hide and seek? Fine, he got himself a really good seeker, a hunter.

It only took me two minutes to find him. He was sitting next to a tree with his eyes closed. The beast inside me purred with excitement... he wouldn't know what hit him. In just a second, I was crouching behind him and whispering in his ear, "Tired, honey?" He yelped. I grabbed his shirt and made him stand up. "How dare you abandon me? Think before you do something so stupid like that. Do you honestly think I would let you do this? You don't know what I can do, _baby_, don't mess with the unknown." I gave him a long stare before muttering, "You're lucky I love you. You would be dead by now if I didn't."

I dragged him back to the house. I paced around our bedroom. He was sitting in the bed, hugging his legs to his chest. He refused to look at me. Even when I placed the red apple in front of him.

Ungrateful man.

I sat directly in front of him, but he never said a word to me. He wasn't talking to me. We spent hours like this until I finally gave up and spoke.

"I have to leave for a few hours. Don't worry, though, I will be back to you soon," I told him. But he wouldn't look at me. I could guess he was still giving me the silent treatment for that tiny little threat in the woods. Humans, they get hurt with anything. Now imagine the pretty little rocks. But did anyone think of them? No. How unfair. "We can't have a repeat of the escape attempt," I started. He continued to stare at the wall. "So, I will have to make sure you stay right where you are." That made him look at me. "I'm going to tie you up."

He was up and backing up in the corner. I rolled my eyes. Didn't I tell him that was useless? There was not a thing he could do about it. I showed him the ropes, smiling and bouncing. I had never tied someone up! This was fun! I was in complete control, there was no danger of me attacking him. He was still not moving his pretty, warm body to the bed. "Edward, I don't want to hurt you. Lay on the bed, now," I warned him. He did, and I went over to him and touched his hair, feeling the softness against my cold, hard hand. "It's not so difficult," I told him softly. He diverted his eyes from mine. _I'm sorry._

He laid back on the bed, like he just gave up. I took his arms delicately, so I wouldn't bruise him, hurt him, maybe even kill him. In the process of tying the ropes, I hovered on top of him but I carefully kept my weight off of him. I focused on his gorgeous face. His human, warm, flushed face. I let my eyes wander down to the throbbing vein on his neck. Lust and hunger met my senses. I could always taste both. When my eyes snapped to his face again, I only saw one of those: lust. _My sweet, hormonal husband, how much I love you. _I kissed his cheek, letting my lips linger on his skin. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes closed tightly. "I love you too and I want you," I whispered. "But I have to go. Behave."

Today, I would remain in the city, close to home. It would soon get dark and lucky for me, there wasn't any sun that would reveal the diamonds in my skin. I giggled – I had diamonds in my skin but nobody could know that. I hid in dark alleys, I was waiting. Soon, it was night and I was ready to hunt. But I kept waiting. There was always a silly little one walking the alleys. Or better, more than one. I'd heard the conversations; they wanted to have company so they wouldn't feel scared. Company meant dessert to me. And then there were the idiots who wanted to be hidden because of whatever atrocity they were doing.

What would those innocent girls do without me?

As if I was calling it, the sound of high heel shoes came closer and behind it, there was the putrid smell of alcohol, sweat, and perverted lust. One of them must have grabbed the girl because now she was begging them to let her go. I pushed myself off of the wall. "I don't think that's appropriate," I said to the men, my voice dangerously calm.

"Another piece of meat," one of them laughed. To his surprise, I laughed too. Not with him, but at him.

_Let's see who will eat first._

They knew something wasn't right, and they were so distracted they didn't see the girl standing up and backing away from them. I turned sharply towards her. "Run, _now_," I ordered and watched her run. She could be useful to me one day, that's why I didn't kill her. The two idiots tried to run after her but I pushed both of them to the concrete.

"Who is the victim now?" I hissed and yanked one up, pushing his head aside and sinking my razor sharp teeth in his neck. The other one thought this was his time to escape. I hated when they thought they could escape from me. I was in front of him in a second and he stopped; he was frozen. A sadistic smile grazed my lips and I snapped his neck, avoiding any unnecessary and annoying screams. The man I had left was panting on the floor. Venom. I waited thirty seconds, allowing him to feel the greatest pain on this earth and finally I finished him off. The blood of the one I'd snapped the neck wasn't as good as the previous one, but I took every drop I could.

I took the lighter I'd stolen to one of my victims, I did say sorry for that when I buried the nice sir, and set their clothes on fire, not bothering to check their wallets like I do with most victims. Soon, the smell of burning human flesh made me feel ill, even if it wasn't possible. But I stayed to make sure there wouldn't be any traces. I didn't bother taking them to a secluded place because they were not worth it, they deserved it.

But I had to admit their blood was much better than Mr. Deer's. "It wasn't very fair, I know. But I wanted blood and you were bad. Bad people are punished. You deserved it." Bad world full of bad people.

For some reason, I had Glenn Miller's "In The Mood" in my head so I started dancing as I walked away. I wondered if Edward liked music, or if he liked to dance. In that case, I wanted to dance with him, especially now that I was in a good mood. I was in the mood. I giggled and twirled at the reference in my head.

I got home and squealed "I'm here! I told you I would come home soon." Then, I starting humming Mr. Miller's theme and went into the room. I stopped the second I saw him. He was in the same position I had left him; head turned to the side, hands clenched into fists, his body was tense.

"Edward?" I asked weakly. No response. "If you are mad at me for tying you, I'm sorry. Please understand me. I love you." A scoff escaped him. I raised my eyebrow, even if he couldn't see it. What was that?

"You don't make threats to the person you love and don't force them to stay in a place. But go ahead and tell me you love me. I want to laugh again."

"No, you don't understand!" In a flash I was next to him, removing the ropes that I now hated. There was no more fun in them. When his wrists were released, he rubbed them and hissed in pain. His skin was raw and red, probably from fighting the tight hold I made. "I'm so sorry," I sobbed and grabbed his face in the most delicate way I could manage with my steel hands. "I love you," I told him and crushed my lips to his.

I pushed him back down to the bed and I went with him, never breaking our kiss. He was kissing me back; he wanted this and I could feel his desire growing. His lips felt so warm and soft against my cold, stony ones. I wanted to nibble on them, mark him as mine and only mine. But I couldn't, that would only hurt him.

However, I _would _give him pleasure.

I touched his messy bronze hair and his neck, always careful, always keeping in mind that I could break the man I loved. I let out a purr when he shivered under my touch. That wasn't from my cold touch.

His hands, that had been unmoving unlike his lips, went to claw at my blouse. I wanted to pull back, but whenever I made a move to do so, he came with me. Hungry, desperate. I was just as desperate, I needed his touch. I ripped my blouse and his hands were immediately exploring my abdomen and my breasts. This time he broke the kiss to look at my startled eyes. His eyes then hungrily roamed my naked torso. I moved to kiss his neck as his hands slipped to my back and to my bottom.

I kissed the column of his neck as I teared his clothes apart and did the same with what was rest of mine. Our need to be close to each other increased.

Skin to skin. I felt him, he felt me. Fire and ice, coexisting with one another.

I move down from his neck to his chest. I could do this, I knew it. I made sure that every part of his chest was covered with my kisses._ Mine._

Our naked bodies pressed against each other, so close. We both let out satisfied sounds.

"You're so beautiful," he rasped as he ran his thumb over my nipple. I closed my eyes at the sensation that was sent through my body. His warm hands slipped to my waist, exploring my curves once again. One hand went lower. My eyes flew open and my hands shot to the headboard. It was impossible to have my hands on him when he was giving me this immense pleasure. Just light brushes, teasing me.

As delicately as I could manage in the moment. I grabbed his wrists and placed them above his head. This is about him, only him.

Slowly I lowered myself onto him, letting us both feel the connection that only _we_ could create. He closed his eyes, pure bliss... I wanted to do the same but I couldn't, I had to be able to see him.

_I _did this to him, only me.

He filled me completely, and moved his hips in desperation, groaning.

_Whatever you need._

I rocked forward and his fingers pressed into the flesh of my hips, the movement was forceful, _for him_, feather light for me. Stopping the torture for us both, I let my body move like I wanted, _needed_. For his satisfaction.

He loved every second of it, I knew from the words that fell from his lips. My name, always my name, said as if it were some kind of salvation.

Everything was perfect, I had kept my thirst away for so long, I had this, him, right now and it was insane, the unbelievable surges running through my body, it was almost too much... his body tensed, and he threw his head back showing me his neck... the blue vein throbbing, calling for me.

And then he did the most stupid thing he could ever do. He raised his upper body, reaching for me, inviting me. Touching and pulling me as if wanting control. So confused.

I snarled and pushed him back, pulling my lips back... I bit him. Right there, teeth around the blue vein that called to me.

It was the best blood I'd ever tasted. Nothing was better than this and for a moment I wanted to laugh at all my other victims. They had nothing compared to him.

His warm blood washed away the ever present thirst. I had found a gift, a miracle. And I greedily drank every drop until his body couldn't give anything more.

The guilt of it hit me instantly. I promised I would never hurt him; I promised I would only bring him pleasure.

I killed him. I murdered my love.

His face was strangely peaceful. His eyes were closed and his lips were parted. Even now, lifeless and broken, he looked beautiful.

I wrapped the sheets around his body. I would bury him; I couldn't bring myself to burn his body and ruin it even more.

I quickly threw some clothes on and went outside to prepare his grave. I saw the apple tree and remembered he liked apples. I caved the hole under the tree. Once he was buried, I sobbed next to his grave, internally cursing my nature and my inability to produce tears.

Only the pain I endured during the transformation was the only thing I could compare the pain I felt now. I was weak, despite being strong, I was weak. I was a monster, designed to destroy whatever I touched.

I couldn't live anymore, I couldn't breathe or walk after what I did. I wouldn't go on without him.

But death was tricky for me. I didn't wish to expose myself, to show the monster I was. And I certainly didn't want to run into the Volturi, no matter how much I craved death.

The Cullens.

I wondered if they would kill me if I asked. But then I remembered Carlisle, it had never been expressed but I knew he was different, almost human. So kind and compassionate. He wouldn't allow it.

But I could make them _want_ to kill me. Maybe Rosalie, who never directed a word my way and gave me long, cold stares. Or Emmett, he was huge – he could crush me instantly.

Jasper. I'd overheard the stories about him, I remembered his scars. When Alice got close to me, or when I was just looking at her, he was always there, watching me, giving me warning looks.

Alice. She was the key. If I got too close and attacked her, Jasper would not hesitate to kill me on the spot. I understood, he was willing to do anything for her, just like I would have done anything for Edward.

I stood slowly, leaving the place where he now rested. "I'm so sorry. I love you, I really do. That is why I need to do this... I can't be in peace knowing what I did. I can't live anymore, not without you." I looked around and the pretty little rocks caught my eye. I placed them on the grave I made.

And then I ran to where I knew they lived.

But I never made it to where they lived, it wasn't necessary.

The wind blew towards me and I immediately caught their scents. Jasper and Alice. They were close, they were hunting, this was my chance. I followed the scent and soon I heard their voices, they were laughing and joking. How could someone laugh in a moment like this? A moment of absolute misery. Their laughs stopped, they must have caught my scent too.

I saw them standing in the middle of a clearing and I stopped running. For a minute, I just stared at them and they stared back. Alice had a look of comprehension and sadness. Jasper stood very close to Alice, as if he was already protecting her, and looked at me curiously.

He took tentative steps towards me. "Bella, is there something wrong? Your emotions are messed up."

"Yes, there is something wrong," I replied. The next second, I was in front of him and flung him to the other side of the clearing. I went for Alice, but she gracefully stepped away and avoided my every move.

"Alice, step back!" Jasper shouted. I felt arms around my body, surrounding me like a snake. I felt certain parts of my skin cracking. I looked at Alice, a silent thank you.

If he was going to kill me, I better get a good death. I grabbed his chin but he threw me to the ground. Snarling, he grabbed me again and attempted to hit me with his fist but I avoided it. I needed to make him more angry. I kicked him, sending him across the clearing and he brought a tree down with him. I took the opportunity and jumped to where Alice was.

I wasn't pretending, I wanted to catch her. That way Jasper would rip every part of my body for even touching her. The fury I needed, the fury I wanted. But it was impossible to catch Alice, I only had five seconds before Jasper had a hold of me again. I deserved the worst fate but I prayed I would see Edward again.

He had me pinned to the ground. He pressed his foot on my back and I felt my skin cracking. He lifted me again, this time pulling on my arms, putting a lot of strength in the action to detach them from my body.

Pain. Nothing like my transformation or the pain of losing Edward, but still pain. I deserved pain for what I did to Edward. At this point, I didn't fight Jasper.

Small hands took my head and I looked up to see Alice. But she wasn't looking at me, she looked at Jasper. He then pulled my arms and I felt and heard my arms being ripped from my body.

I wanted to scream but Alice hands pressed harder and she turned my head to the one side. I heard a sickening crack. Then the other side. Another crack.

_Edward._

_I hope I can see you again._

_I love you._

Alice slammed her hand on my face.

Death, so relieving to finally meet you

* * *

**So... Who expected them to die? *looks away***

**Thank you for reading! And Happy New Year!**


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